This moment.

You know its true when you can sit down on the bedroom floor of your lover’s room and the bright light from the sun shines bright through the window, illuminating his brown eyes that you seem to get lost in as you talk about anything and everything. Letting out your problems, your fears, what makes you the happiest and what makes you the saddest. Not having not once ounce of a palpitation or shallow breathing because you’re too afraid to say something moronic or embarrassing. All of your insecurities seem to just disappear when you see their face, when they hold you by your waist and smile. When you can see the passion in their eyes and you can’t help but to think “wow, is this what love is?” as you hear them tell you about past stories and situations. Spilling out everything that’s in your gut, mind, and heart. No fear, no uneasiness, just the calmness and soothing sound of their voice.
You’re just so lost and concentrated on what they’re saying, and the small cute kisses that they give you in between sentences. Making you feel safe, making you feel like you’re at home. Everything you once feared or made you despondent are all gone away with just a simple look in their eyes.
I used to think I was going to forever be miserable, that nothing could help get me out of the hole I was in. That I was going to live alone, with 12 cats in a small house by myself. I thought I was the problem, that it was my fault that nothing would last and I would burn all of my bridges and friendships. But, you made me believe again. You showed me that not everything in life is a dark corner and not everything and everyone has some secret agenda to hurt me. When I’m with you, its as if everything seems to stop. All of my stress is gone with just a blink of an eye. I have already forgotten what sadness feels like, yet I am reminded of my dark times still; But I regret those times, for those times were not I. I was consumed by a monster, a monster called depression and consistently put down by the negativity around me. I failed to realize at that time what and who I had right in front of me.  My biggest supporter, my role model, my best friend, my lover.
And then after, all of these things were thought and spoken, it felt like a matter of minutes have passed. But then you notice the silver light creeping through the glass of the window, and the dark sky and realize that hours have went by and you spent all day just talking, and still having the time of your life.

Advertisements